Inhibitions
by jediserenity82
Summary: A belligerently drunk Revan accidently lets Carth know of her feelings towards him...one shot.


"_The ultimate is finding a place where you have no **inhibitions**, nothing to hide, where you can learn with one another.__" _

_-Jennifer Aniston_

--------

Alora Polies sat alone in the common room of the Ebon Hawk, downing her third glass of the Tarisian Ale that she had found stashed in one of the cabinets. She assumed Davik Kang, former owner of the ship, had stored it there in preparation of his escaping the Sith blockade on Taris. She grimaced when she realized that he wouldn't be needing it anymore.

They were currently on route to Tatooine, just leaving the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine only a few short hours ago. _Damn Jedi, _she thought as she forced down another large gulp of the liquor. It burned on the way down her already sore throat, but she ignored it.

Her throat was sore due to her latest argument with Carth Onasi, after her encounter with the Jedi Council. He had accused her of leaving him out of the loop.

_Alora narrowed her eyes. "I'm not the one leaving you out of the loop, Carth."_

_Carth crossed his arms over his chest. "This isn't about me. This is about you and the Jedi Council. They pulled you in there and refused to tell me a damn thing about it!"_

_Bastila had stepped up to her defense. "Frankly, this is none of your concern, Carth. What is said between the Masters and the Padawan's are strictly confidential." her voice had been stern and very Jedi-like._

_He clenched his jaw. "Well, excuse me, Bastila, I respect you, but you've been as tight mouthed as the rest of the Jedi. If you won't tell me anything, maybe Alora will." He glanced back to Alora, with an almost pleading eye._

_Alora leaned back against the wall of the Enclave. She wasn't up for a fight, especially with Carth. She was exhausted from her training and was in dire need of a vacation. But it appeared that was not in the pazaak cards anytime soon._

"_They want us to search for the Star Maps that Revan and Malak discovered during their fall to the dark side." She had explained._

_Carth frowned in confusion. "Star Maps? Why? Don't you need to finish you're training?"_

_She shrugged. "They think this is more important."_

_He began pacing back and forth, hands clasped so tightly behind his back his knuckles turned white. "But why? You're a neophyte Padawan who's been saddled with the responsibility of tracking down these Star Maps. Why? That's not normal." _

_That got Alora's blood boiling. "Are you saying that I'm not needed?" her voice rose a couple of notches._

_Carth threw his hands up in the air. "Of course not! You've more than proved yourself since Taris. You've saved my butt more than once." he paused. "But the fact of the matter is..."_

"_The fact of the matter is, Carth, is that you can't put aside your damn trust issues long enough to have faith in anyone!" she screamed, clenching her fists. "You've more than proved _that_ since Taris!"_

"_I said this isn't about _me!_" he screamed back. "All I'm trying to say is...is that I just don't like not knowing what's going on!"_

_Alora turned her back to him, her anger rising. "Then why don't you leave! Go back to the front lines. Be by yourself, if that's what you want, Onasi."_

_Carth was taken aback. "I didn't say that! I don't mean that you're not wanted or that I want to go! It's just that...damnit!" he sighed and racked his hand through his hair. "I'll tell you this much, I'm not going to wait around until I'm betrayed again."_

_She spun around. He could see the anger on her face, her eyes ignited with rage. "I am _not _going to betray you, Carth! I'm _not _Saul!"_

_Several Jedi turned their heads to look in Carth and Alora's direction, but they ignored them._

_Bastila put a hand on her shoulder. "Calm yourself, Alora."_

_Alora shot the two of them an annoyed look and stormed off. Fearing that if she stayed, someone would come in contact with her fist._

Why did she allow him to get to her so much? She had had that thought so many times since Taris. She didn't know what it was about the stubborn pilot that made her want to laugh, cry, scream, and lash out all at once. She knew that Carth's lack of trust for her shouldn't bother her the way it did. But, never the less, it did. A lot.

Alora finished her third ale, and reached for another. Bastila had already interrupted her solo party about half an hour earlier, during her second glass, with a lecture, no less.

"_Alora, you're a Jedi now. This kind of behavior is not tolerated." she had said sternly. "You shouldn't use alcohol to subdue your emotions and lower your inhibitions." she paused and watched as Alora tipped her glass upward, swallowing the remaining liquid. "Meditations does wonders for me. I could help you if you would like..."_

_Alora snorted sarcastically at the younger Jedi. "Thanks, but no thanks, sister. I prefer to sleep laying down, and not in a fully upright position." she paused as she poured her second glass. "Besides," she took a sip and wrinkled her nose at the bitter taste. "my inhibitions are just fine."_

_Bastila let out an exasperated sigh, throwing her arms up in defeat. "Suit yourself, Alora. But if you want to continue down this self-destructive path, you'll do so on your own."_

_The older woman sat back in her chair, making a "clicking" sound with her mouth and gave Bastila a thumbs up gesture._

_Bastila's eyes narrowed, and she turned on her heels and exited the common room._

A smile played on Alora's lips as she replayed the encounter again in her mind. She didn't know why, but she got a kick out of pushing Bastila's buttons. _That girl needs to loosen up._

She took another sip of her drink, then felt the pressure on her bladder and groaned. _Damn alcohol._

As soon as she stood, the affects of the alcohol took its toll on her. The room spun and her head whirled, and refused to merge together. She stumbled slightly and tried to balance herself on the back of her chair and missed.

She felt a pair of strong hands capture her waist before she fell, and a voice whispered in her ear. "Easy there, Gorgeous."

Alora shivered as Carth's breath tickled her ear. "I'm okay," she slurred, wiggling out of him grasp. "S'okay."

Carth chuckled softly. "A little drunk, are we?"

"I'm not drunk." she replied defensively. "I'm just..."

He raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to explain, a smile playing onto his lips.

Alora narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you makin' fun of me?" she took a staggered step towards him. "'Cause you know I could kill you wit one hand behind muh back." she held up her index finger and whispered, "One." again.

Carth gave her a lopsided grin. "I don't doubt that, Beautiful." he laughed again. "I'm not making fun of you. But you _are_ drunk."

She pouted. "Am not."

His smile widened. "Are too."

Alora gave him a smug look, crossing her arms over her chest. She leaned back against the counter, more to keep her balance. "You think you're sooo cute, don't you?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

She snorted. "Well, you're not."

Carth lifted an eyebrow, his grin turning into a full blown smile. "No?"

Alora shook her head. "Nope."

He chuckled. "I guess I stand corrected."

She smiled and moved past him, her shoulder brushing against his, causing her to almost lose her balance again.

Carth gripped her around the waist to steady her and pulled her against him, her face only inches from his. "Careful," he whispered, looking into her eyes.

Alora's hypnotic eyes searched his, then traveled down the rest of his handsome face, lingering a little too long on his lips. She blushed and pulled away. Trying to keep her dignity in tact, she resumed her position at the counter, forgetting about her venture to the refresher.

She reached for her cigarra and another drink. Using the Force, she drew the ashtray closer to her, then ignited her cigarra. She inhaled the sweet, clove flavored smoke as she poured herself a glass. Alora crossed her legs slowly and looked up at Carth as she took a sip.

He couldn't help but notice, that even in her drunken stupor, she was still seductively graceful. Couldn't help but notice the muscle structure of her legs, especially considering she was only wearing sleeping shorts, despite the coldness that hyperspace brought into the ship. But he knew the alcohol was keeping her warm enough.

Carth walked over to her, taking the glass from her fingers, as well as the cigarra. "I think you've had enough, Gorgeous." he muttered, as he put the cigarra out in the ashtray.

She took the drink from him. "Get your own."

"I don't drink," he admitted, trying to take the alcohol from her again. "And you have had enough."

Alora pointed to herself. "_I_ deshide when I've had enough..." her slurred voice trailed off and she looked at him, cocking her head to the side.

Carth frowned, confused. "What?"

She grabbed her cigarra pack and lit another. "I need a name for you."

He laughed, taking a seat next to her at the counter. He realized he wasn't going to be able to get her to stop drinking anytime soon, but at least he could make sure she didn't hurt herself. "Carth works just fine for me, Gorgeous." he paused, and decided to be a little bold for once. "Or you could always go with the 'most handsome pilot in the galaxy.' Although, I think we already established that I'm not, so that won't work."

Alora's face softened and she leaned forward a little, as she studied his face. The man was handsome. His dark brown hair was usually kept neat, aside from the two stubborn locks that constantly fell across the right side of his brow. His dark, chocolate colored eyes were soft and kind, even when he was angry with her. A strong jaw, lightly dusted with a subtle five o'clock shadow. And a body that signified that of a well trained soldier. "You know," she whispered. She was going to kick herself in the morning. "I lied before," she blushed. "when I said you weren't cute."

Carth felt his heart pound against his chest. He had to admit, he had been attracted to the woman since he had first seen her on board the Endar Spire. Her face was oval shaped, her eyes wide-set and bright above her aristocratic nose, and full lips that were made for sin.

Her hair, although he was seeing it now for the first time outside of it's usually neatly kept braid, was dark and long, falling in a nest of curls that met her waist. Alora was beauty beyond words.

A man would be a fool not to be attracted to her.

Her face was so close to his now, that he could smell the bitter-sweetness of the Tarisian Ale on her warm breath. He swallowed hard. "Really?"

Alora nodded, running her hand over the front of his orange flight jacket. "In fact, you're very cute."

She blinked, and withdrew her hand, backing away slightly. "But I'm a Jeedai, I can't have feelings for you. It's bad." she brought the glass once more to her lips, but it was empty. She pouted, tilted her head back, trying to get one last drop. She sighed as she lowered the glass. "Someone drank it all."

Carth's eyes lit with amusement. "You did."

Alora wrinkled her nose. "Did not." She pointed at him, then took another drag from her cigarra, before putting it out. "I think you did, flyboy."

"Flyboy?" He chuckled as he shook his head and watched as a single strand of hair fell over her forehead, and fought like hell not to reach over and tuck it behind her ear. He failed. He reached up and brushed it away, securing it behind her ear. "Wasn't me."

She shrugged and poured herself another drink. She tilted the bottle towards him and gave him a questioning look. "Want?"

Carth shook his head. "I don't drink, remember?"

She nodded. "Right."

He was having a hard time composing himself. She was basically coming on to him, despite her Jedi training. Maybe it was the alcohol talking. He wasn't sure.

So he sat, watching Alora drink away some unknown burden that seemed to be perched upon her shoulders, thinking about how much he wanted to kiss her.

Carth didn't even really know when he developed this "crush" on her. Sure, he had always found her attractive. Sure, he got a little light headed when their hands or knees made contact with each other in the closed quarters of the Ebon Hawk's cockpit. Sure, he imagined what her lips would feel like against his...

"Onashi?"

Suddenly, a drink didn't sound too bad for Carth after all.

He shook his head. "Sorry, what?"

Alora pouted. "You weren't lishening."

Carth reached over and patted her hand. "Of course I was."

She looked down at his hand that was still lingering on hers. She blushed a little. "Um, could you help me to the refresher? I had to pee before you interrupted my party-for-one here. And I'm afraid if I stand up..."

"You got it," he chuckled. He gently placed an arm around her waist and guided her to the refresher.

Alora went inside and shut the door behind her. After she did her business, she splashed some cold water on her face and looked at reflection in the mirror. _I can't do it,_ she told herself. _I can't, I can't, I can't._

She could. And she would.

She dried her face on the towel, sliding her hand across the wall as she moved, and opened the door. Carth was still there, waiting for her.

He gave her a small smile. "Think it's time for you to go to bed." he offered his arm to her, and she accepted.

When they reached her private quarters, Alora turned to him, blushing slightly. "I'm sorry, Carth."

Carth lifted his eyebrow. "For what?"

She averted his eyes. "For my drunkenness." she suddenly wished she had another drink in her hands.

He gently lifted her chin to force her to look at him. "Don't apologize. Just, just get some rest."

Alora took this as her opportunity. Later, she would simply blame it on the alcohol. She stood on her toes and kissed him, placing a hand lightly on his cheek.

Carth was taken aback. He froze, not knowing what to make of this. And it wasn't until she started to pull away that he started to respond. He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her against him, and crushing his mouth down on hers.

Her mind whirled, more so by his kiss than the alcohol. She placed her hands on the base of his neck, pushing up gently on to deepen the kiss, and fingering his hairline.

Carth used this opportunity to coax her mouth open and deepen the kiss, tracing the inside with his tounge. He could taste the alcohol on her lips. His hands traveled lower, down to the small of her back.

He suddenly felt her go limp in his arms. He gently pulled her away from him. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth still held the shape of his. But she was asleep.

Carth couldn't help but laugh, and felt a little relieved. He wouldn't have allowed it to go any further than that anyway, with her in her current state, but at least he wouldn't have to be the one to stop it.

He carefully lifted her in his arms and opened the door to the quarters. He placed her onto her bed and pulled the covers over her.

Carth watched her sleep for a few moments, wondering if she would remember the events of tonight...

He brushed the hair away from her face and stood. He quietly exited the room, and smiled as he shut the door.

He prayed that she did.


End file.
